As we cuddle together, his body slowly becomes limp and he sleeps. He had insisted on "the tickle" right until he succumbed. He becomes entranced whenever I take my nails and skim them across his back or arms and neck. When I stop, he wiggles and panics and says, "Tickle, tickle" over and over again until I begin again. Then he says, "Ahhhh, tickle," and he's content. The kid's an addict. I had just changed his diaper before bedtime and he was exhausted from another day of toddler adventure. He hair was a riot of curls around his head and a few places were sticky from some ice cream he had eaten earlier. I ran my fingers through his hair cherishing the baby-soft feel of it. I could feel the child growing inside of me kick against him as if to say, "Hello? I'm in here and you're crushing me!" He is oblivious. I enjoy listening to his breath and keep up "the tickle" even though he doesn't feel it now. He looks like a cherub with his rosy cheeks, pink lips, extremely long lashes curling upward, and curly blond hair. I gently turn him around till I'm cradling him and take him off to bed. As I lay him on his bed and tuck him in for the night, he doesn't wake. He's lost in toddler dreamland. I turn on the fan and look back at him. I kneel down beside his bed, kiss his hand once...twice....three times. Feeling as if my pregnancy hormones are about to take over and my emotions burst into fragments, I say a prayer for my son and leave the room. But my thoughts do not leave him. I often wonder what is in store for my sons. I often wonder what I can do beyond teach them, care for them, and love them. As I stand outside his bedroom door, I pray, "Be with my sons, Lord. Protect them. Give them wisdom." That is the best thing I could do for them.
Doc and I have actually been tweeking with the idea of going on a date. I know. Totally weird. Not the idea of doing something romantic. It's the idea that we actually might have the guts to dump our offspring on some unsuspecting person. This has always been a hard decision for us to make. I mean, we do watch the news and let's face it, we're paranoid. That's probably why we haven't been on a real date that didn't include scarfing down our food as fast as we can and running back home to see if it's still standing and no one is bleeding. Just the other day, I asked Doc, "So, are we going out for Chinese tonight?" I was crossing my fingers mentally, chewing on my lip. I so wanted to be irresponsible. We haven't been on a date in forever and I was craving Chinese like crazy. I suggested that our 13-year-old son get a chance to hold down the fort for a couple hours. I even turned on my sexy voice and said, "We'll have our cell phone with ...
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