Rugrats and Dirty Rugs

It was a Saturday and my brother wanted to take the boys to Chuck E. Cheese's. Now, it's never a good idea to take my boys there for a very good reason. They get sick. Not just a little sniffle followed by a cute little cough. No. We're talking running to the bathroom in order to get to the toilet in time to puke their guts out. Of course, it never goes straight into the toilet all neat and tidy. It splashes all over the dang thing, all over the walls around it, on the floor, and on the sink. This can also be followed by diarrhea. When you have a kid that normally waits till the last minute and has to run to the bathroom to make it get diarrhea, it's not a pretty sight. My husband gets a major case of the heebie-jeebies when this happens. He is usually armed to the teeth with antibacterial lotion and air freshener. I swear he would wear gloves and a face mask around the house if he thought he could get away with it. Well, I warned my brother that if he took them to Chu...

Justin has an uncanny ability to make women fall in love with him wherever he goes. He is a very loveable boy, but seems to feel like he doesn't get enough love at home. Whenever we go to church, he loves to go to the older ladies, have them pick him up, and cuddle with them like they are his long-lost grandmother. I believe it all started last year. We went to Michigan to spend time at the family cottage with my husband's side of the family. Justin talked about seeing HIS grandma the entire two-day trip. When we finally got there, he bolted out of the van faster than a rocket shooting into the sky. We heard, "Grandma! Grandma!" with such excitement as he ran to meet her. He spent his days and nights in pure bliss. I remember one particular night. The adults were sitting on the screened-in porch talking and trying to stay awake. Justin was sitting between me and his grandma on the couch enjoying the light sratch of her nails on his neck. She loves her gra...

I was reading Antique Mommy's Good Housekeeping article, when I remembered a time when I was little and I received my first scar. This was no ordinary occasion for me. I was only around three years old, but I remembered it for years afterward and told the story to whomever was in listening distance. I am sure that I disobeyed my parents before this occasion, but this was a time that I realized there is a good reason why I should obey them. We were living in Indiana at the time and it was summer. There was no air conditioning in the house and only one fan that I remember. Since my parents could not sleep without the noise of a fan in their room, there was no question of who would get the fan at night. I was desperate apparently. I asked them if my sister and I could sleep with the fan in our room that night. Of course, the answer was no and we were told to go to sleep. It surprises me to this day that I hadn't immediately fallen asleep after a full day of toddler fun. When my p...

This morning, I was watching the news and they were talking about alpha moms and beta moms. They don't really call them beta moms, though. No. They call them slacker moms. It makes me want to sock them in the mouth, or throw something at the TV. Where do they get this crap? They are now comparing moms and seeing who does it all compared to those who....don't. I guess they are saying that alpha moms are supermoms and beta moms are, well, total bums. It started making me wonder what kind of mom I am. I ended up just feeling like horse dung. There is tremendous pressure from everywhere to be the perfect mom. The whole world is watching us. Society, friends, even family can expect wonders from us. Not only do we have to keep the kids clothed properly and well-fed, we have to educate them, give them enough physical activity, some even judge you if you let them watch TV. Add to that, keeping the house absolutely spotless, the yard perfect, dinner on the table, and all t...

It's hard to tell if she is just playing with her or wants to eat her. For more Wordless Wednesday go to 5 Minutes for Mom .

As we cuddle together, his body slowly becomes limp and he sleeps. He had insisted on "the tickle" right until he succumbed. He becomes entranced whenever I take my nails and skim them across his back or arms and neck. When I stop, he wiggles and panics and says, "Tickle, tickle" over and over again until I begin again. Then he says, "Ahhhh, tickle," and he's content. The kid's an addict. I had just changed his diaper before bedtime and he was exhausted from another day of toddler adventure. He hair was a riot of curls around his head and a few places were sticky from some ice cream he had eaten earlier. I ran my fingers through his hair cherishing the baby-soft feel of it. I could feel the child growing inside of me kick against him as if to say, "Hello? I'm in here and you're crushing me!" He is oblivious. I enjoy listening to his breath and keep up "the tickle" even though he doesn't feel it now. He l...

My kids are just about the pickiest eaters on the face of the Earth, but I have found a way to get them to eat spinach. That's right. I said spinach. That yucky, slimy, green stuff that my mom always had simmering in a pot on the stove. She would love to eat it just like that with some vinegar. Nasty. Well, when I finally grew up and had kids of my own, I realized that it's got some much needed vitamins for growing bodies. I knew there was no way they would eat it like my mom did, so I had to come up with something......duplicitous. I found a recipe in one of my cookbooks for manicotti. It had spinach in it, so I thought I'd try it. Of course, they asked what the green stuff was. Did I tell them the truth and said that it's spinach? Fat chance. I wasn't about to ruin everything! I totally lied straight to their faces. I said, "Spinach?! Are you kidding? That's nasty! These are just herbs." They ate every single bite and asked for seconds and sometimes ...

My husband was going to be ordained, so I felt the need to pamper myself a little. After last Thursday , I felt a great need to do so. On Saturday, I informed my husband of the intention of getting a manicure. We did some haggling over the price of manicures and when he realized I wasn't going to bankrupt him, he gladly told me to take off. I got the directions to the nail center and grabbed my purse. As I was walking out the door, I looked back at him and said, "I think I might get a pedicure, too." Running out the door as fast as possible, I could hear his pathetic wail and giggled. I wasn't sure I was going to get a pedicure for sure until I got there. There he was standing behind the counter......the devil in the form of a Korean man. I told him I wanted to get a manicure. He took one look at me and asked, "Would you like a pedicure, too?" I turned to look at the price list, but the dang thing blurred in front of my eyes. I turned to look at him. His eye...

On June 10, 2007, my husband was ordained as a Deacon in the Anglican Church in America (AMIA). He is now The Reverend Andrew McIntyre. Congratulations, my love!

5am- Wake up because the sun is blasting through my window and my bladder is screaming at me. 7am- Act like I am waking up for the first time for the benefit of the husband who has to go to work. Laze in bed with oldest son making jokes. 7:30am- Run downstairs and put son's blue school shirt in the dryer since I forgot to do it last night because I was dead tired. 7:32am- Realize I am all out of bread and cereal for breakfast. 7:45am- Go to turn fan off in boys' bedroom. Notice about 10 little nails hammered into their wall. 8:10am- Run out the door into the 26 mph winds to the van and throw the kids in as fast as you can all the while listening to the puppy yelp. 8:30am- Rummage in the fridge that needs to be cleaned for biscuits to throw in the oven for breakfast. 9:40am- Run out the door for the 5-year well-visit for Justin that I am not looking forward to. 10am- Finally get into the exam room to find out my whole trip to the doctor's was a waste of time. 10:02am- Bawl m...

When we were visiting the library, I discovered the first book in this series and brought it home to read to my 4 and 2 year olds. They were immediately entranced with the book. When I read to my kids, I like to read with a lot of expression and do all the voices. They love it. We eventually had to return it to the library, but then I found Little Quack's Bedtime and Little Quack's New Friend at our next library visit. They were as much in love with those as the first one although I think the first one is their favorite. Even their older brothers who are in more advanced reading enjoyed these stories. I believe my boys identify with them and that's why they love it so much. There is Mama Duck and her five little ducklings- Widdle, Waddle, Piddle, Puddle, and Little Quack. The illustrations are absolutely adorable and the boys just love to get in bed with the book, look at the pictures, and talk about the story. The artist really captured the look of love on Mama Duck's ...

Our little Justin has a way of saying his s's that has us laughing our heads off. Sometimes it comes out "sh". So, you can imagine what happens when he wants to say "sit". It'll go like this: "Mom, can I s*it on your lap?" and his daddy will say, "I hope not, kid." Or, "Aidan, you have to s*it in this chair," and again his daddy will say, "I hope not." I don't notice it all the time, but when I do it just cracks me up. A few years ago, my husband got a kick out of calling our dog what she is- a b****. He probably liked getting a reaction from me which was always a gasp and something like, "Stop saying that! The kids are going to start saying it, too!" His comeback was always, "Well, that's what she is!" So logical. Until Nathanael started saying it, too. One day, I asked Nat to put Leigh in the garage. He opened the door and said, "Get in there, you b****!" I slowly turned to look ...