Almost Lost

It is three in the morning and the wind is howling right outside my bedroom window. It wakes me up and I turn over to try to sleep some more, but soon even Sneezy wakes. Half an hour later, I put him back in his bed and I lay down listening to the whistling of the wind. As I lay there, I reflect on some things since my mind is not at rest and I recall a long ago memory that I had forgotten about for just a little while.

When Bashful was just about three years old, I would take him with me to the grocery store. He was always by my side hoping not to lose me. If he became distracted and lost sight of me, he would immediately panic, not knowing that I knew exactly where he was and I was just a few steps away. "Mama! Mama!" he would yell in fear. I would immediately come to him and calm him. "Mama's right here, honey. It's okay. Mommy would never leave you." It always twisted my heart and made me want to hold him even tighter and never let go.

He was almost three when Grumpy finally made his appearance and gave him a playmate. Grumpy was more of an adventurous type. When he found his legs and began to walk, he was everywhere and I had to keep more of an eye on him or he would be off like a shot. That very thing happened one day when I was very pregnant with Sleepy and Doc was on a business trip.

It was a hot, summer day and we had no air conditioning in our little condo. So, I let Grumpy wear only a diaper around the house. That day, the lock on the screen door was broken and Grumpy was very fascinated with the sliding, screen door. He kept opening and shutting it and, Heaven knows, I would have shut the glass door, locked it, and would have been done with it if it weren't for the fact that we needed the breeze on this swealtering day.

Looking back, I realize I should have been watching him more carefully, but I became distracted. One minute, he was in the house, the next, there was no Grumpy. I looked at Bashful and asked if he knew where Grumpy was. He was always in his own world, so, of course, he didn't know. I ran through the house screaming Grumpy's name, but came to the realization that he actually walked out the back door.

With my pregnant belly in front of me, I ran down the stairs and fell at the bottom step. I looked at Bashful and warned him to stay in the house and I would be right back. Running out the back door, I closed the screen door, and went looking for my little boy running around in a diaper. With my heart in my throat, I passed a group of teenage girls and asked them if they had seen a little boy wearing only a diaper. They said yes and he went "thattaway". They pointed in the direction he had gone and my pace quickened as I neared the street.

Across the street, I saw a nice woman holding him by the hand and leading him toward where he had come from. As I neared them, he saw me and held up his arms. He seemed glad to see me and as I held him close, I looked at the woman with my heart in my eyes and thanked her profusely. I turned and carried him back to our home all the while thinking he could have been lost to me forever.

Right inside the door, I put him down and proceeded to let my anger flow forth. I scolded him and hugged him. I cried and kissed him. He had been glad to see me and I think he had learned a lesson although he did not seem to be overtly traumatized by his experience.

Coming out of my past memories, I look out my bedroom window into the swirling darkness. That had been about five years ago, but the memory of that day still makes my stomach twist and my eyes tear up. I know that someday I really will have to let go of my Grumpy and let him go into the world on his own. May God show us the same mercy that He did on that hot, summer day.