The Lecture

I've inherited many traits from my parents, but there is one of them that drives my family nuts. The trait of lecturing. When they don't flush the toilet, the lecture begins. When they refuse to eat their food, the lecture goes on and on. When they sneak knives out of the cabinet and go pirating, the lecture could last for half an hour. One of the most infamous moments of lecturing from my father happened when I was a teenager. My dad was very particular about what movies we would watch as a family, so we were all ecstatic when we were allowed to watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. My dad put the movie in and we all settled back to be entertained by the handsome Harrison Ford. I was laying on the floor totally oblivious to the disaster waiting to happen. My sense of humor was ignited during a scene in the movie where Sean Connery slaps Ford in the face for saying the Lord's name in vain. At the expression of shock on Ford's face, I immediately dissolved into uncontrollable giggles. My father misunderstood my reaction to the scene and abruptly paused the movie. He stood up in the middle of the room with his hands on his hips and gave me and the rest of us a ten minute lecture on saying the Lord's name in vain. I remember looking up at my father with the same expression of shock on my face as Ford's had been. I had no earthly idea why he thought I had even thought it remotely funny that Ford had cursed in such a way, so I tried to calm him by explaining why I laughed. It took great effort to calm him, but eventually he turned the movie back on and we were again immersed in the action/adventure flick. As my oldest son puts on the bored expression of, "Mom's lecturing again," my mind floats back to that episode with my dad. I look at myself internally and realize that I have the same propensity of lecturing as he did. But, there is something that I understand now that I didn't when I was young. I know that it drives my children batty when I go into the lecturing mode and even my husband will say that I say the same thing over and over again and I go on and on. Still, I think the reason I do this is because we have our children for such a short time. There is not enough time to teach them everything they need to know. When they leave the house, they will be so young and will still have so many lessons to learn. I know that with some things they will have to learn the hard way. So, I lecture trying to cram as much information into their brains as possible hoping they will be ready for the world when they are men. Nothing will prepare them more than experience, but I'm hoping that when they come upon a sticky situation they will remember their mother's voice saying, "Don't run with scissors in your hand."