Rugrats and Dirty Rugs

Today, I was doing Phonics with Sleepy. We were going through his sight words and I asked him to put each word in a sentence. We came upon the word "what". His sentence was, "What the heck?!" I think his brothers have a lot of influence on him. Once upon a time, Grumpy was known for saying, "What the hell?" on occasion. We have asked him to change the last word. Therefore, whenever Sleepy thinks of the word "what" he thinks of that sentence.

I'm usually the one going over to Rocks In My Dryer to get as many tips as I can cram into my brain, but today I actually have one that many of you probably already know about. Since I didn't know about this particular tip, I thought I'd share for the fun of it. A couple weeks ago, I realized that there HAS to be a way to get our grocery bill down to a reasonable amount. We have five little ones at home, but they don't even eat that much and are even downright picky at times. I had been trying to save money at the grocery store as well as I knew how, but I knew there had to be something that I could do even more. So, I looked up on the internet for some frugal recipes that didn't taste like cardboard and hit the jackpot. I called my oh-so-wise mother telling her about my find. My mother raised four children on a budget, so she is full of great ideas on how to save money. So, she told me about this particular tip that I'm going to share with the world. She told m...

Today is my Happy's third birthday and he is very excited about his cupcake cake and pinata. Happy was my "easiest" labor and delivery and was born in a little kiddie swimming pool in one of our bedrooms. Of course, he has not been the easiest child to keep out of trouble. He goes looking for it like our own little Curious George. Whenever he sees something new, his eyes brighten with curiosity and his brain churns to know how it works. When he yells, "Whas dat?", our immediate reply to him is, "Not yours!" He has had many adventures in the past year and to celebrate I will post my favorite story about him which also happens to be my first post for my blog. This post was also written before I became pregnant with Sneezy. Happy birthday, sweetie! Mommy loves you! My youngest son, Happy, is going to be two years old in just a couple weeks and not a cuter cherub in all the world. Big, blue eyes, long, curly lashes, and the wildest mop of blond hair you...

Even though you know there is something plugging up the pipe, you never really expect to see the thing that does the plugging. I suspected maybe a toy car or something, but I was wrong. A few months ago, the boys had informed me that the upstairs bathroom toilet was clogged. It was nothing new to me to have to go in, get out the plunger, and start plunging. That's exactly what I did, but when the toilet wouldn't cooperate with me I started to get mad. The boys cleared out of the bathroom when after the fifth time I plunged nothing happened. My thoughts were definitely not peaceful when I locked the bathroom door to keep the boys from going in there and doing their business in a clogged toilet. That bathroom door was kept locked for months since Doc and I are not plumbers by trade or hobby. Since God blessed us with two other bathrooms to use, we didn't have to build an outhouse in the backyard. When Doc's parents came to visit a week or so ago, Grandpa came to the resc...

I've inherited many traits from my parents, but there is one of them that drives my family nuts. The trait of lecturing. When they don't flush the toilet, the lecture begins. When they refuse to eat their food, the lecture goes on and on. When they sneak knives out of the cabinet and go pirating, the lecture could last for half an hour. One of the most infamous moments of lecturing from my father happened when I was a teenager. My dad was very particular about what movies we would watch as a family, so we were all ecstatic when we were allowed to watch Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. My dad put the movie in and we all settled back to be entertained by the handsome Harrison Ford. I was laying on the floor totally oblivious to the disaster waiting to happen. My sense of humor was ignited during a scene in the movie where Sean Connery slaps Ford in the face for saying the Lord's name in vain. At the expression of shock on Ford's face, I immediately dissolved into uncon...

In Music class today, I introduced a new song to Grumpy. It was a French song and Grumpy immediately refused to sing it. I was confused and asked him why. He said, "The French don't like us." I laughed and said, "Why do you think they don't like us?" He became agitated and said, "Because they don't! We've been in a war with them. Bashful told me!" (Bashful had just learned about the French and Indian War.) "But, Grumpy," I said, "we haven't been in a war with France for hundreds of years. Our countries are friendly now." "No!" he said, "They don't like us! The Franks are our enemies! (He had learned about the Franks in History.) The Muslims don't like us either and why am I learning about them in History?" He became even more agitated and tears almost came to his eyes. "WHY AM I LEARNING ABOUT BAD GUYS??" he yelled. I was stumped with that one, but I had a ready an...

When my husband went and got himself a brand-new PT Cruiser, he was happy as a bug in a rug. Soon after that, he was driving along on the interstate minding his own business when he needed to pass a truck. Debris from the truck came flying at him and put a gouge in the side of his car. Some weeks later, flying rocks put more damage to the car. No more brand-new PT Cruiser. It was Grumpy's turn to go out to breakfast with Doc one Saturday morning. They were driving to the restaurant when Grumpy noticed a car that looked the same as Doc's. He said, "Wow, Dad! Look! That car looks the same as yours....except it doesn't have cracks in the windshield."

He was licking his plate like a dog last night. Sleepy is only five and has a hard time keeping his mouth closed while he chews his food. Every single night at the dinner table, I must teach my sons good table manners. So far, Bashful and Grumpy have managed to take my advice and chew with their mouths closed, but occasionally I will see Grumpy smear his messy fingers across the tablecloth or his pants unaware of the napkins right in front of him. If I must leave the table to feed the baby, I will go into the living room and listen to the conversation they have with their father. Sometimes it is hard to hear them talk over the chewing of their little brothers, Sleepy and Happy. Last night, I offered applesauce as a side dish. Sleepy had poured some out of the jar, but a little had slidden down over the side. Out comes his tongue and he has almost touched the jar with his germ-infested mouth when I yell, "Eeeeerrrrrr! Stop right there! You do NOT lick the jar, kiddo!...

Ordination weekend went by so fast that my head is still spinning. My time was spent mostly making sure that no disasters happened and that the boys were on their best behavior. It was hard to just sit and savor the moment. I am so thankful that Doc's parents were able to be here to see their son ordained. It was the moment they have waited for since he was a boy. Doc's mother has believed for years that God has called my husband to be a minister. At the time, Doc was going through the normal teenage rebellion and she was doubtful, but God's message to her was clear: "I will call him to the ministry." It was a beautiful and moving service. I was glad our children were there to witness the event. They have been waiting for a long time, too, and they often would say, "I can't wait for Daddy to become a priest." They are very proud of him. When I was a teenager, my father would come into my room every evening to say good-night. He would knee...

In 2004, we were blessed with a bright red, brand new minivan. I remember complaing to Doc that EVERYONE with kids had a minivan. Why couldn't we have one too? So, my husband did his duty and went out and got us our home away from home. It officially became a piece of crap when a gallon of milk spilled onto the floor of the front passenger seat. Of course, it was my fault. Since then, our van has been anointed with all sorts of fast food, toddler snacks, vomit, papers of all kinds, coffee cups, dog hair, puppy pee, spilled liquids, etc. Recently, our already beat up minivan was in an accident. The kind where it was crushed like a sandwich. The poor thing had to be driven carefully to the body shop and the boys and I waited for our rental. The rental place had just that morning promised me a large SUV. Who cares about global warming when you can drive around in THAT? As I do a little dance in my head thinking about having ample room for my brood and pretending that the S...

Today is my Grumpy's birthday. To honor this special occasion, I'm going to publish my first story about him. I can't believe a year has gone by already! When my second-born, Grumpy, was two years old, he watched The Land Before Time. I didn't know how much he loved that movie until one time I put in the video for him and his brother and he rushed to the couch as fast as his little legs could go in order to watch with total absorption. Since then, he and his brothers have watched every movie in the series. They love to make scary, dinosaur sounds and crawl on all fours at the same time. They are all dinosaur crazy, but Grumpy particularly. He is also my drama king. My seven-year old is usually screaming or crying about something so I don't drop whatever I'm doing to see what the problem is right away. His older brother loves to torture him by saying or doing something that bothers Grumpy tremendously. One day last fall, Grumpy starts crying about something ups...

This past weekend, my husband was ordained. He is now an Anglican priest. His parents were able to come and witness this special event and it was a joyful time for all of us. It was also a very eventful weekend for our children: Happy follows Grandpa to the bathroom and asks, "You going to pee and poop now?" Grandpa says, "Well, I'm thinking about it." We are at a restaurant and Grumpy asks how old Grandma and Grandpa are. After hearing their ages, he says, "Wow! They're almost dead!" Happy kept calling Grandpa by the wrong last name. Doc and I would yell, "McIntyre! McIntyre!" to tell him he had the wrong name. So, when Happy followed Grandpa to the bathroom yet again, he would lay on the floor, look under the crack and say, "What are you doing, McIntyre?" During church, the boys went up front for the children's story. When asked what a carpenter does, Grumpy said, "A person who cleans the floor." The m...

I had watched Bill Cosby: Himself lately and found it to be hilarious. I would scream in laughter sometimes because his kids sounded just like mine. He called them "brain damaged people". I have often wondered if all of my children's marbles are there. I have to tell them the most obvious things all the time. Things like- wash your body or you will stink, brush all of the teeth in your mouth or you will get cavities, eat your food or you will be hungry, don't be loud or the baby will wake up, dry yourself off with a towel when you get out of the bathtub, put your clothes on or you will be cold, put away your Nintendo games or they will get scratched and unusable (that's a big one), etc. The list goes on and on. With school it gets a little more frustrating. I often have to tell them to put their books away or they will be wasting time looking for them the next day. They will also have to hear the angry shrieks of their mother in their ears while they look for ...

Sometimes Grumpy and I have to battle it out during homeschool. Take today for instance. It was around 10am and I told the boys to go get a snack while I put a load of laundry in the washer. It didn't take long and I was already yelling at them to get downstairs to finish school. I gave an assignment to Grumpy and he went to work. After a while, though, he started to complain about it. When I told Sleepy he could take a break, Grumpy was up in arms. "Why can I take any breaks?" "You just had a break, Grumpy." "That was just a snack, not a break!" he cried. "Sleepy is only in kindergarten. He can take breaks. You still have a lot to do. Now get busy!" He turned around in a huff and grumpily went back to work. After a while, he brought it to me and said something that I didn't hear because I was laughing my head off at one of the posts of my favorite blogs. I know I should have been paying attention to my absentee son, but i...

The whole family was in the room for the affair. Since our family lives a thousand miles away and our friends are an hour away, we had decided that Doc would watch the boys in a waiting room of the hospital while I gave birth. We didn't know what else to do. So, the morning of my first contraction we were headed to church. Doc immediately freaked and turned back for the hospital. I was hungry, so we stopped at a fast food restaurant so I could eat. I figured I needed my strength for what was ahead of me. The contractions stopped for no apparent reason and we went home. Since I was jumpy, I decided to make a casserole and freeze it for my family. Without knowing it at the time, I was in labor while making food. I shake my head at that now. After that, we started for the hospital and as my husband alternately slams on his breaks and speeds up on the highway, I grind my teeth during a contraction that felt like transition and ask him to "stop that". I didn't ...

My little Happy has a quirk. This quirk is costing me in time and detergent. The child has yet to understand that if he is thirsty, he can get a cup and fill it in the bathroom sink. For some reason, this doesn't occur to him and instead he stands on the toilet, leans over, and puts his mouth under the faucet. In turn, this becomes a messy business and his shirt becomes soaked with water. Since he hates the feeling of wet, he takes off the shirt and leaves it where he stands. He is also being lazy about using the toilet. If he doesn't get there in time, (and this usually happens often), he takes off his underwear and pants and throws them on the floor. Throughout the day, he will often change clothes four or five times. There will be a trail of clothes all over the house by the end of the day if I don't get on him to put them in the laundry room. He always comes to me with his shirt wet and says, "My shirt wet, Mom!" "Don't you dare take that o...

Last night, I made chicken cacciatore for dinner. You would have thought I made liver & onions. I smothered the chicken with spaghetti sauce and melted mozzarella, but to no avail. They were not eating it. I felt myself getting huffy and exclaimed, "When I was a kid, my mother made me eat liver for dinner! Do you know what liver tastes like? It is the most disgusting thing in the world! I was not even allowed to leave the table until I ate what was on my plate!" Memories always come back to me when I think of the times my siblings and I had to eat something we didn't like. The time my brother tape-recorded my pitiful crying when I had to eat my vegetables, my sister hiding her food in her napkin, the sun setting and I'm still sitting there refusing to eat the nastiness, the times my father would threaten to make me eat my own vomit if I threw up. After dinner, my father would also say, "Do the dishes." What he actually meant was clean the whol...

One day, Doc came up to me and announced that we have a mouse in the house. I looked at him askance because there is nothing more than having a mouse in the house to make it all of a sudden feel.....unclean despite my efforts. Since then, I have found mouse poop in the laundry room, Bashful's closet, and the basement. Aargh! Doc then suggested that we get a good mouser. There is no definite way of making sure that a cat will be a good mouser until the deed is done, so I sneered at myself as I said, "Okay, fine. We'll go look at cats, but it better be a nice cat." I must be insane. We now have a cat. She is four years old and the most demanding little priss I've ever met. We must be cat people. Sitting at dinner one night, we saw her trot over to her litter box around the corner. I said, "Look! There she is! Isn't that such a good kitty?" As we heard her scratching at her litter to cover up her mess, we said, "Cats are awesome, man! You bring the...