Memorial Day is just around the corner and the little community pool will be opening. My boys have looked forward all winter to the day when we will all put on our bathing suits, grab the floaties, and troop over to the pool for a good time. I even bought a brand spanking new maternity swimsuit for the summer knowing I would never hear the end of it till they could go swimming at least 50 times. As I ponder about the wait in line just to get in the door this year, I think back on the time last summer when we had to stand behind a few teenage girls. *Pause for a huge sigh here.* These days girls have their cell phones attached to their ears and they are constantly chattering on the phone or to their friends standing in line with them. They all had deep tans and attitudes that said, "I'm sooo hot." Gag me with a spoon. They were constantly turning toward the back of the line to see all the newcomers and get themselves noticed. I stared daggers into their backs and promised that the next time they turned around making a nuisance of themselves, I would strangle them with my son's floatie. As I am thinking about how much I don't like teenage girls, a bird decides to land on my shoulder. I immediately panicked. I screamed bloody murder all the while flapping my hands on my shoulder and hair, turning in circles only to finally realize the bird was gone and probably left my shoulder at the first scream. I stopped to calm down and looked with dread over at the cancer girls. They were staring at me as if I had lost my mind. They didn't even see the bird land on my shoulder, so they probably thought I was schizophrenic. I look down at the boys staring up at me and lamely said, "There was a bird on my shoulder." They calmly said, "Oh," and went back to being bored waiting for the line to move. I moved back into position wishing I could disappear into thin air. This summer, I will be keeping my eyes peeled for that bird with my son's water gun strapped to my hip.
I'm really picky when it comes to romantic movies. I prefer them clean and it's really hard to find those kind of romance movies these days. Nowadays, romantic movies are chock full of butts, boobs, and beds. Just sayin'. I was bored one day and decided to google the top romance movies of all time. You have got to be kidding me. One list had Brokeback Mountain on it. Pulease. I was, in fact, so disgusted by all of the lists that I came across that I decided to make my own. I decided to call it The Top 16 Clean Romance Movies of All Time, well, because I couldn't think of anymore to make it an even top 20. Now, my list might be different from most people. I said I was picky. First, I don't like b***** women. That scratches out a whole pile of popular movies. One of them being Gone With The Wind. Does anyone besides me want to smack that woman? Second, I don't like it when the couple end up in bed together. Uh, I don't really need to know, thankyouverymuch. Th...
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