Memorial Day is just around the corner and the little community pool will be opening. My boys have looked forward all winter to the day when we will all put on our bathing suits, grab the floaties, and troop over to the pool for a good time. I even bought a brand spanking new maternity swimsuit for the summer knowing I would never hear the end of it till they could go swimming at least 50 times. As I ponder about the wait in line just to get in the door this year, I think back on the time last summer when we had to stand behind a few teenage girls. *Pause for a huge sigh here.* These days girls have their cell phones attached to their ears and they are constantly chattering on the phone or to their friends standing in line with them. They all had deep tans and attitudes that said, "I'm sooo hot." Gag me with a spoon. They were constantly turning toward the back of the line to see all the newcomers and get themselves noticed. I stared daggers into their backs and promised that the next time they turned around making a nuisance of themselves, I would strangle them with my son's floatie. As I am thinking about how much I don't like teenage girls, a bird decides to land on my shoulder. I immediately panicked. I screamed bloody murder all the while flapping my hands on my shoulder and hair, turning in circles only to finally realize the bird was gone and probably left my shoulder at the first scream. I stopped to calm down and looked with dread over at the cancer girls. They were staring at me as if I had lost my mind. They didn't even see the bird land on my shoulder, so they probably thought I was schizophrenic. I look down at the boys staring up at me and lamely said, "There was a bird on my shoulder." They calmly said, "Oh," and went back to being bored waiting for the line to move. I moved back into position wishing I could disappear into thin air. This summer, I will be keeping my eyes peeled for that bird with my son's water gun strapped to my hip.
They instructed me to make sure I have a full bladder on arriving for my ultrasound. Ha. I almost laughed in their faces. Pregnant me plus a full bladder equals a disaster. On my son's birthday back in March, I had to drive all the kids home afterward. I had drunk a lot of water and couldn't believe I had forgotten what happens to me when I drink too much water with no bathroom nearby when I'm pregnant. I counted the minutes till I got home all the while breaking the law and speeding trying to keep in mind not to drive too recklessly screaming at the poky people in front of me. It brought to mind the very first time I experienced a full bladder as a pregnant woman. It was my first baby and my husband was in the Air Force. So, when we had an ultrasound we went to the Academy in Colorado Springs. They told me to drink an astronomical amount of water before I came. I did so and then we started out for the half hour drive to the hospital. By the time we were on the
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