T-Ball Days

Rachel from Testosterhome has recently had a fifth son! I myself have just recently found out that the child in my womb is a boy. My fifth son as well. There are some who are disappointed by this news. I have been doing some soul searching since I found out. Am I saying I'm not disappointed about this but inside I'm crying for the little girl I will never have? I have been thinking about the things I will miss out on. Things like braids and bows, tea parties and baby dolls, ballet and tutus, sweet little girl kisses and hugs, etc. etc. The list goes on. I do not deny that I will miss the opportunity to dress my little girl in pink and lace or decorate her room with flowers and ribbons. Yes, I will miss all of that, but this train of thought took only seconds for me. I thought of the boys I already have. All so unique and wonderful in their own way. They all look like clones as babies, but then they hit two-years-old and they begin to have their own look and personality. Nathanael, my sweet, quiet, and shy boy. Caleb, my boisterous, loving, and dramatic child. Justin, my adorable, matter-of-fact boy, and Aidan, who so far has been a total imp, but I love his cuddable nature. As I think on their natures and how much joy they have given me, I think of the boy growing inside of me and all thoughts of a girl slip away. I already love this child with a fierce love and I can't wait to see his little face. I am looking forward to more cuddle times, soccer and t-ball, capturing toads, little eyes looking through Power Ranger masks, sword fighting, gun toting, etc. etc. Someday, I will have to look up to see my sons' faces and I will listen to their deep voices as they talk with their father about theology and politics or anything else under the sun. I look forward to that.