"My great miseries in this world have been Heathcliff's miseries, and I watched and felt each from the beginning: my great thought in living is himself. If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I AM Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being." - Wuthering Heights
So many women worry that when they marry they will "lose themselves". I was very young when I married- just 20. I was still a girl in many ways. I still had a lot of learning and growing to do. As a married woman, I had yet to become truly one with my husband. But there was that little something that I had that is needed in order to "lose myself" in my marriage. I wanted my husband to be content above all things. If circumstances prevented him from being truly content, I would do what I could to at least have him content with his home life. I didn't know how to go about that, though. A few years went by in my ignorance of how to make a good wife. In the beginning, I thought loving him would be enough. I needed to put actions to my words and show what was in my heart. For instance, making dinner was a chore and still can be when you've got screaming kids in the background. Most of the time, I do it knowing that I am nourishing my husband with not just food he needs, but also time with his family. Now, we have dinner together when possible and because I put food on the table the boys are able to have a conversation with their father. It gives me contentment to watch my husband eating the food I made for him knowing I am taking care of him at least in that way.
Another thing that I have always hated doing is cleaning the house. Growing up, Saturdays were the cleaning day in my family. I dreaded those days. I was awfully lazy and making me clean something was worse than grounding me from the TV. It took me a very long time to find joy in keeping my house clean. I noticed my husband's weariness coming home from work every day and I gradually realized I wanted him to have a place that he wanted to come home to. When he comes in the door, I want him to smell potpourri....not poopy diapers.
There are other ways in which I try to lessen my husband's stress and help him to feel content at home. Things like making sure his heirs don't grow up to be dumb as a rock, that they are cleaned and well-fed, and show good manners. I know better than to nag him especially if it's been a very hard day. I try not to manipulate him with my emotions or words. Most important of all, I pray for him constantly. Are you getting the picture? My entire life is all about him. I always think about him, wonder what he's doing, what he would think about this or that. I am not afraid of losing myself. In losing myself, I have found my sense of self. My worth comes in doing what God has commanded of me. I am my husband's helpmeet. That is who I am. Nothing could give me greater joy.
So many women worry that when they marry they will "lose themselves". I was very young when I married- just 20. I was still a girl in many ways. I still had a lot of learning and growing to do. As a married woman, I had yet to become truly one with my husband. But there was that little something that I had that is needed in order to "lose myself" in my marriage. I wanted my husband to be content above all things. If circumstances prevented him from being truly content, I would do what I could to at least have him content with his home life. I didn't know how to go about that, though. A few years went by in my ignorance of how to make a good wife. In the beginning, I thought loving him would be enough. I needed to put actions to my words and show what was in my heart. For instance, making dinner was a chore and still can be when you've got screaming kids in the background. Most of the time, I do it knowing that I am nourishing my husband with not just food he needs, but also time with his family. Now, we have dinner together when possible and because I put food on the table the boys are able to have a conversation with their father. It gives me contentment to watch my husband eating the food I made for him knowing I am taking care of him at least in that way.
Another thing that I have always hated doing is cleaning the house. Growing up, Saturdays were the cleaning day in my family. I dreaded those days. I was awfully lazy and making me clean something was worse than grounding me from the TV. It took me a very long time to find joy in keeping my house clean. I noticed my husband's weariness coming home from work every day and I gradually realized I wanted him to have a place that he wanted to come home to. When he comes in the door, I want him to smell potpourri....not poopy diapers.
There are other ways in which I try to lessen my husband's stress and help him to feel content at home. Things like making sure his heirs don't grow up to be dumb as a rock, that they are cleaned and well-fed, and show good manners. I know better than to nag him especially if it's been a very hard day. I try not to manipulate him with my emotions or words. Most important of all, I pray for him constantly. Are you getting the picture? My entire life is all about him. I always think about him, wonder what he's doing, what he would think about this or that. I am not afraid of losing myself. In losing myself, I have found my sense of self. My worth comes in doing what God has commanded of me. I am my husband's helpmeet. That is who I am. Nothing could give me greater joy.
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