Skip to main content

Dignified Woman

They instructed me to make sure I have a full bladder on arriving for my ultrasound. Ha. I almost laughed in their faces. Pregnant me plus a full bladder equals a disaster. On my son's birthday back in March, I had to drive all the kids home afterward. I had drunk a lot of water and couldn't believe I had forgotten what happens to me when I drink too much water with no bathroom nearby when I'm pregnant. I counted the minutes till I got home all the while breaking the law and speeding trying to keep in mind not to drive too recklessly screaming at the poky people in front of me. It brought to mind the very first time I experienced a full bladder as a pregnant woman. It was my first baby and my husband was in the Air Force. So, when we had an ultrasound we went to the Academy in Colorado Springs. They told me to drink an astronomical amount of water before I came. I did so and then we started out for the half hour drive to the hospital. By the time we were on the Academy grounds, I was a different woman. I was in such a state that I was begging my husband to pull over so I could sneak behind a tree. Now, it's not like we were in a forest-like area where the trees are so big and lush you could disappear in an instant. No. These were skinny little trees about a mile apart from each other. My husband informed me in an irate voice that we would get arrested for indecent exposure. With tears streaming down my face and driving my poor husband to the brink of insanity, we finally made it to the hospital and I was able to find some relief. My husband once told me that I am a dignified woman. I like to think so, but when it comes to this kind of thing, dignity flies out the window.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Top 20 Clean Romance Movies Of All Time

I'm really picky when it comes to romantic movies. I prefer them clean and it's really hard to find those kind of romance movies these days. Nowadays, romantic movies are chock full of butts, boobs, and beds. Just sayin'. I was bored one day and decided to google the top romance movies of all time. You have got to be kidding me. One list had Brokeback Mountain on it. Pulease. I was, in fact, so disgusted by all of the lists that I came across that I decided to make my own. I decided to call it The Top 16 Clean Romance Movies of All Time, well, because I couldn't think of anymore to make it an even top 20. Now, my list might be different from most people. I said I was picky. First, I don't like b***** women. That scratches out a whole pile of popular movies. One of them being Gone With The Wind. Does anyone besides me want to smack that woman? Second, I don't like it when the couple end up in bed together. Uh, I don't really need to know, thankyouverymuch. Th...

Pregnant vs. Just Plain Fat

Saturday, I had the opportunity to go to a Pampered Chef party at a friend's house. I was feeling particularly bubbly that day and it must have showed. As everyone tells me to say hi to my boys for them, the consultant asks, "How many boys do you have?" I said, "Four," and she asked, "And one on the way?" I gave her a blank stare. How in the world did she guess? I am only about a month along. As everyone congratulates me, I am still in shock. I hadn't planned on anyone knowing for at least two more months. As I'm driving home, I realize that it could have gone badly. What if I hadn't been pregnant? That led to more thinking and here's how it went: Those of you who don't even start showing until your fourth month- I hate you. Those of you who don't get the kind of morning sickness that lasts all day every day for four months- I hate you. Those of you who don't go through a nightmare of pain without medication during labor- I ...

Homecoming Queen

I was sitting in a McDonald's sipping on my drink surrounded by teenagers. I was in my early 20s, so I wasn't at the point yet where teenagers drove me insane. My husband and I had been appointed to babysit the youth group during that time in our lives, and it struck me as funny since they were the same age as my youngest brother. They were good kids and liked to have a fun time as teenagers always do. As I'm sipping on my drink talking with them, one of them looks at me and says, "You were popular in high school, weren't you?" I almost spewed Sprite on the girl. "What gave you that impression?" I exclaimed. "You just seem like you were popular," she said. I stared off into space and shuddered as I remembered the horrific days of public high school. I was the one who took my diploma and waved good-bye to high school forever never to return. If I could have gone through it all with a magic invisibility cloak like Harry Potter, I definitely w...