I was pregnant with twins.
Yep. That's right. Two of them. I had gotten pregnant when Grumpy was around a year old. I didn't feel the usual symptoms of puking up my guts day after day, so I went to a doctor who happened to be adept at the ultrasound machine.
That's when we saw two of them and two of them had already died. To have come so close to having two babies at the same time and losing them before I even knew about them left me shaken.
My whole body shook as I stared at the ultrasound picture of my babies. I couldn't take my eyes off of it as Doc and I walked to our car. I stared at it all the way home. I kept saying, "Two of them. We had two of them." We were both in shock at just the knowledge of what could have been.
Some may say, "Well, it may have been just as well. Then, you would have had to get two of everything!" Those people can go suck an egg.
I spent the rest of the day in bed. I had wanted those babies. I wanted two cribs, two high chairs, two swings, two everything.
I often wonder what life would be like having twins. Every time I got pregnant after that, I secretly hoped for two. While others would sweat bullets at the thought, I would find a dreamy smile on my face. I'm no dummy. I know how hard it would be, but I can't help seeing myself holding those two babies that I had lost and wanting to take care of them.
We have three babies in Heaven now. I had lost a baby before my firstborn, Bashful. Right now, God has given me five, healthy sons to love and hold. Someday, I will be able to hold ALL of my babies. Someday.
Yep. That's right. Two of them. I had gotten pregnant when Grumpy was around a year old. I didn't feel the usual symptoms of puking up my guts day after day, so I went to a doctor who happened to be adept at the ultrasound machine.
That's when we saw two of them and two of them had already died. To have come so close to having two babies at the same time and losing them before I even knew about them left me shaken.
My whole body shook as I stared at the ultrasound picture of my babies. I couldn't take my eyes off of it as Doc and I walked to our car. I stared at it all the way home. I kept saying, "Two of them. We had two of them." We were both in shock at just the knowledge of what could have been.
Some may say, "Well, it may have been just as well. Then, you would have had to get two of everything!" Those people can go suck an egg.
I spent the rest of the day in bed. I had wanted those babies. I wanted two cribs, two high chairs, two swings, two everything.
I often wonder what life would be like having twins. Every time I got pregnant after that, I secretly hoped for two. While others would sweat bullets at the thought, I would find a dreamy smile on my face. I'm no dummy. I know how hard it would be, but I can't help seeing myself holding those two babies that I had lost and wanting to take care of them.
We have three babies in Heaven now. I had lost a baby before my firstborn, Bashful. Right now, God has given me five, healthy sons to love and hold. Someday, I will be able to hold ALL of my babies. Someday.
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