Rugrats and Dirty Rugs

Dear Mom and Dad, This past Saturday morning, I tried calling you, but there was no answer. I do have to tell you, though, what happened while your phone was ringing. Settling down in a chair, I decided to nurse the baby and give you a call. (I am always doing two things at once.) After the first ring, I looked over at Happy. He had just used the bathroom and was sitting on the floor struggling to put on his underwear. On the second ring, I saw a mass still stuck between his little butt cheeks. I gasped in a choking breath and yelled, "Get off the carpet! You told me you wiped your butt! Go back to the bathroom and wipe your butt right now!" On the third ring, I yelled for Grumpy. "Grumpy! Get a wet washcloth and wipe the two dots of poopy off the carpet right now!" The poor kid runs for the washcloth and gets the poopy off the carpet by the fourth ring. By the time I got your voicemail, Mom and Dad, Happy was in the bathroom remedying his "mistake". It...

Sleepy announced to me one time that he is going to marry me someday. It kind of freaks out his father when he says that. It will certainly be hard for him to find a young woman who is the epitome of wisdom and beauty that I am. Another time, Sleepy came to me with a tiny, toy treasure chest. With a sweet smile, he opened it and took out a lego. He handed it to me and asked, "Will you marry me?" I smothered him with hugs and kisses holding tight to him. Memories of my Sleepy are so precious and time will go by so fast.

Having five boys is a big job, but when you have a pet, your work as a homemaker doubles or triples depending on how many pets you have. We have a German shepherd, a cat, and two birds that are part of this crazy household. I'll say right now that those of you who have no pets should count yourselves as blessed. I'm such an animal lover. Not that I don't cry at the thought of giving Leigh away and the cat stays no matter what. She has a purpose after all. Speaking of the cat, when "we" decided to get her, one of the things I worried about was the cat hair. It gets everywhere. Yesterday, I had to pick her up despite her protests and when I finally looked down at my shirt a couple hours later, there was cat hair all over me. Eeuuu. She also has her own chair. Here is where I finally come to the point and give you the tip of the day. A BOUNCE lint roller. Yep. I'm such a genius. Just roll that bad boy all over the chair and up comes that sticky cat hair that ...

My baby is teething. Both sides on the bottom are white and puffy. Poor thing must be miserable. He is actually taking the pacifier as well. I am always thanking him for this. It really is considerate of him. The thing is....he is not sleeping well. Therefore, I am not sleeping well. The night before Easter I was exhausted. Every night, he wakes me about two to three times before dawn. It caught up with me. I had put him down for the night and told his brothers to brush their teeth. None of them know how to be quiet unless it suits them, so they were just a little too noisy. The "one who never sleeps" was awakened and he was angry. Mommy was angry, too, and threatened her sons with all sorts of horrible things if they didn't get to bed right now and go to sleep. I put Sneezy's pacifier in his mouth and began to sing to him. Here's how it went: "You are my sunshine, hoo, hoo, hoo, my only sunshine, hoo, hoo, you make me happy, (gulping sobs), when s...

Well, the time has come to reveal the end result of my latest painting project. Last year, I had decided to paint my bedroom and the hallway a rich, dark green. That works out if you are going to live there forever, but since we are going to have to sell our house, the walls have to be a neutral color in order to sell it. So. Thus began the torture. For an entire week, I painted. By the end of the week, I still had paint in my hair. Every day, I had to scrub the paint off my hands, arms, and even my feet. I dreamed about painting. I breathed it till I was high as the clouds, and my arms felt like they were going to fall off when everything was finally done. I was exhausted......but there was still more left to do. If you've read my post from last year's painting experience, you know that we have a little imp. As much planning as I could do, I tend to get just a little bit distracted while painting. I was tired and trying to get the boys' bedroom done. The sun was going down...

It is only March and yet we've had three birthdays in our house since the beginning of the year. Happy is constantly asking, "Is my birthday over?" "Yes, Happy, your birthday is over now." He will proceed to go down the list and ask about everyone's birthday and if it's over. He asked about Sleepy's birthday and I said, "Sleepy's birthday is in June. He hasn't had his birthday yet." Sleepy has had to watch three of his brothers open their presents on their birthdays. His chin is usually propped up on his hands as he forlornly watches his brothers playing with their new toys. There is a long stretch between his brothers' birthdays and his own. He has since stated his own preferences and told us what he wants for his birthday, but today there was a new demand. Overhearing my conversation with Happy, he said, "I don't want to share my birthday cake. I want to eat it all myself."

The time has come to scour, organize, fix, paint, and straighten up our house to be sold. Yikes. Just give me a Xanax right now. "What's the big deal?" you might say, or "There shouldn't be a problem, right?" you could say. Well, there is a very big problem and it is a huge deal. Why? Because I have FIVE BOYS. Granted, one of them just poops, eats, and sleeps (the last one on occasion), but the others tend to destroy things on a regular basis. We've lived in this house three years this August and it was in the first year that most of the damages were done. My mind goes back to the day that I waited in the van while Bashful had to go back into the house to get something. He came back out and proceeded to shut the door, but for some reason it wouldn't close for him. So, thinking that slamming harder would make it shut, he slammed it over and over only to have the door stubbornly refuse to shut. I was sitting in the driver's seat with my mouth open ...

There are various reasons why I don't appreciate being woken up by Sneezy in the middle of the night. 1) I don't get enough sleep as it is, 2) I have to visit the bathroom every single time, and 3) I think. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking. I even encourage it on occasion. My kind of thinking, though, leads to sleeplessness. It's not all bad. Usually, my best organizing ideas come to me in the middle of the night. I then implement those ideas the next day and I'm a happy mom. An organized mom is a happy mom, I always say. But, and this is a big but, sometimes my thoughts veer toward the morbid. The other day, I was talking with my husband after dinner and suddenly I asked him, "Do you ever have a feeling of doom?" He said, "All the time," with frank weariness. "No, I mean that something really terrible could happen to our family at any time," I insisted. "Yes, all the time," he also reiterated to me....

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Congratulations! To my husband who has been called to a full-time position as pastor. It's been a long time coming, but it is God's perfect timing.

There's a Mouse in the House saga continues...... I was prepping my bedroom for painting when Happy came screaming up the stairs. It was nothing new to hear him screaming about something. When he finally reached my door, he had tears in his eyes and he was scared to death. Due to his tears and his heart beating out of his chest, it was hard to distinguish real words from the blubbering. Despite that, I was able to make out something like "the mouse was on the blanket". I was confused because I remember leaving the blanket on the couch. I really did NOT want to think that a mouse would be bold enough to come up onto my throne, but, apparently, my son had taken the blanket and cuddled with it on the floor in front of the TV. "You saw the mouse on the blanket?" I squealed. I was horrified for him. I told his brothers to put the blanket back on the couch and put the cat in the family room. I asked if they saw the mouse and was given blank stares and, "Uh...no...

I know it seems like all I do is sit on my keaster and watch TV, but sometimes things happen after my day is done and I've collapsed on the couch before heading to bed. So, here begins another story just that way. I was on the couch watching TV when I saw another one of those daggone, arrogant mice sprint toward the TV. They come out of the woodwork hoping to catch a little tidbit left behind by our little Happy. Now, we've threatened Happy with his life if he ever brings food down to the family room. It's a rule. It should be followed, but Happy was born to break the rules. Thus, a piece of toast was left behind and placed near the TV just for the little mice. Shoot. They might as well be our pets, for Pete's sake. Seeing a foreign animal sneaking around in my home is bound to make me scream and that's exactly what happened. "Grumpy! Get the cat and put her in here right now!" I yell after a screaming fit. Grumpy plops the cat far away from the vicinity o...

Sunday morning, we were all getting ready for church. This time, there was no foreboding grayness to the north. I was sitting on the bed putting Sneezy's sweet, little baby clothes on him. Sometimes it feels like I am putting a straight-jacket on the poor thing. While I was struggling to put his clothes on without doing much damage, I chattered away to Doc. During our conversation, I stopped and commented about my milk coming down. Now, I couldn't help mentioning it because when my milk comes down something weird happens each and every time. My hormones run amok. My breathing changes and all of a sudden I feel like bursting into tears, but I don't. Picture a woman who looks like she is about to have a nervous breakdown, but within seconds she is the picture of health again. It really is quite an odd feeling. Anyway, Doc was totally grossed out. He said, "Well, we don't really need to know about that." I said, "What's the big deal? It's per...

For three years, it was just me and Bashful. The one thing I wanted most my whole life was put into my arms on March 9, 1997. The minute he was born his sweet and easy-going personality shown through. His eyes were wide open and we stared at each other for the longest time. Doc had video-taped us together and you can see how much in love I was. On the tape, Doc asked how I felt. I had labored 16 hours and pushed for one hour, but all of that was already a blur in my mind as I said, "I feel wonderful." When Bashful hit two-years-old, he couldn't take naps anymore. I say "couldn't" because the poor kid just layed there forever and just could not sleep. It was hard for me since I was pregnant with Grumpy at the time. When I became too tired to sit up anymore, I would announce to Bashful that it was time for a nap. We would both troop up the stairs and get in bed together. I would turn over and Bashful would proceed to toss and turn. I remember begging ...

This is a typical phone conversation that I had with my mom recently: Ring! Ring! "Hi, Mom! How are you and Dad doing?" "We're doing fine, honey." Screaming heard in the background. "So, what are you guys going to do this weekend?" Screaming continues in the background and gets louder. "Well, we need to go to the grocery store...." Screaming fills the whole house until the volume is unbearable. "Mom, can you hold on a minute?" "Sure, honey." I take the phone with me to see what in the world is going on. I look over the banister and there is Sleepy and Happy fighting over something as usual. "What is going on?" I demand in my "don't mess with mommy" voice. Happy tearfully explains that Sleepy won't let him see out the window. There is Sleepy pushing Happy with all his might and Happy screaming his head off trying to see out the window. Since I was on the phone at the time, I told Sleepy to go to ...

We were sitting at the dinner table a couple nights ago and the boys were actually eating their dinner. When dinner was coming to a close, Grumpy all of a sudden started saying the strangest things. Then Bashful joined in as well. Apparently, they've talked about this before and decided to share with their parents. This is what they came up with. Some of it is silly, but some of it the world should take into consideration. Don't be naked in front of a lion. Don't be naked in front of a camera. Don't be naked in front of a crocodile. Don't be naked in the pool. Don't be naked in front of a shark. Don't be naked in front of your father. Don't be naked in the ocean. (Bashful says this, but then Grumpy interrupts him. He says, "You already said not to be naked in the pool. That's the same thing." "No, it's not," says Bashful. "There's sharks in the ocean." Don't be naked in front of a live radio. Don't be nak...

There's a Mouse in the House saga continues.... Last Sunday morning, Doc goes into the bathroom to take his morning shower. He pulls the shower curtain aside and finds a mouse in our tub. If it had been me, the house would have been awakened by my horrified screams. Since Doc had more presence of mind, he simply took a napkin and bent down to grab it and put it in the trash. Problem was the mouse wasn't dead. As the mouse skittered to the end of the tub, Doc quickly straightened up and went for the cat. Now, the cat has made it clearly known in the past that she does not like being picked up. I was briefly awakened by our cat fiercely meowing, but when she stopped I went back to sleep. Doc had picked her up and her meowing stopped as soon as he plopped her in the tub. "Here you go, kitty," said Doc. "Here's a snack for ya." She was confused about why he had stuck her there when she noticed the mouse at the other end. Both paws went up in the air and she ...

Yesterday, it was time to do sit-ups. Bashful started out saying he was only going to do thirty sit-ups. So, he does them and sits down in the chair. Grumpy gets up and right before he starts his sit-ups, he announces that he is going to do forty. Bashful crosses his arms and watches Grumpy begin. Half way into Grumpy's sit-ups, Bashful announces that he can do fifty sit-ups (because God forbid that his younger brother can do more sit-ups than him). So, instead of stopping at forty sit-ups, Grumpy finishes at fifty. Bashful gets up from the chair and proceeds to do twenty more sit-ups, but since he cannot let it be known that his younger brother can do as many sit-ups as he can, he proceeds to do ten more. Well, Grumpy was having none of that! He announces that he is going to do his 100 sit-ups right then and there. So, there they were side by side doing their 100 sit-ups. When Grumpy finishes, we watch as Bashful finishes his last few, and then when he continues to do ten mo...

Saturday, March 1, 2008 ended beautifully. The afternoon weather in southern Colorado was in the 70's and the sun shone brightly. Doc and I had decided to do some yard work and the boys were basking in the warmth outside while playing in the dirt and getting it in their hair and clothes. They were in heaven. Sneezy woke me at dawn the next morning as usual and I heard the wind howling outside. It was nothing unusual to this area, but as I looked to the north, there was nothing but gray and white. Doc left early for church and the boys and I were about 20 minutes behind him. Half an hour into our trip up north, we started seeing snowflakes. "Look, boys! See the little, white snowflakes falling? It's starting to snow!" I said with contentment. Twenty minutes after that, I could barely see through the windshield. I had to concentrate on the car in front of me so I wouldn't run into it. Blowing snow + crappy windshield wipers = poor visibility. Needless to say, I miss...