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Things I promised myself I would never do:

1) "discipline" my kids. I refuse to use the "s" word in case there is a weirdo out there ready to call the cops on me. I can say, "Why no, officer! I would NEVER do that. Just look at my blog. I said "discipline". That means "time out". Whenever I was spanked as a kid, the only thing I could think of to say to my parents in rebellion was, "I am never going to spank MY kids when I'm a mom!" I usually got a smirk, a quirk of the brow, and an, "Oh, yeah?"

2) eat vegetables. I would come to the dinner table and most often there would be vegetables as part of our meal. It would be a low point in my day to see those vegetables. My parents were adamant about eating every bite off our plate or we weren't allowed to leave the table. Most nights, I would be the last person sitting at the table crying into my plate refusing to eat the nastiness. One day, my tortorous little brother taped me crying like a little baby on a tape recorder. When I paused to take a breath, he pushed play and everyone got to hear the playback of my bawling. While everyone started giggling, naturally I wanted to pull his hair out. Stinker.

3) wear a certain dress size that will remain nameless. Now, that's just laughable after so many babies.

4) use the TV as a babysitter. If I want to take a shower, I will. Normally, I don't let the boys watch that much TV. There are times, though, when I need to have some time to myself and that's when a movie goes in.

5) use leashes on my kids. When my husband and I were honeymooning at Walt Disney World, I noticed some parents had leashes on their kids to keep from losing them. They were attached to the part of their backs where they couldn't reach them. I sneered and said, "I would never treat my children like dogs." God forgive my stupidity. If we ever have the opportunity, the leashes will be bought and used.

It's interesting how things change when you grow up and see the light.

Comments

Unknown said…
OMG!! I had totally forgotten about recording you! Laugh my friggin butt off, Sissy. Hahahahhaha! Love ya, babe. ;-)

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