My youngest brother's birthday was this week. He is seven years younger than me and my first experience with babies. I'm sure I was the little mother with him in between the big sister moments. He always seemed so little and fragile to me and I guess that's why Justin reminds me of him sometimes. To celebrate my baby brother's birthday in a big way, I'm going to tell a story about him. This is the story that seems to be the one my mother tells of the most about him probably because it was very traumatic for her. Being a mother of boys myself, I totally understand that. This story is prominent in my mind lately and I think you'll know why. When I was little, we lived in a neighborhood where the grocery store and the elementary school were within walking distance. On one particular day, my mother took us on a walk to the grocery store. We got to the store and Mom made her purchases without any problems. As we were leaving, though, that's when disaster struck. She pushed the doors open and poop that had been in my brother's underwear fell out onto the floor. My mother was immediately horrified and probably in a trance for a second or two. Before she could possibly do anything about it (I have no idea what), the door closed with a "whoosh" and the poop was smeared into the floor. We stood there transfixed until we were rushed out the door as fast as possible hoping to escape notice and marched back home. When we got there, Mother took my brother to the backyard, stripped him down naked, took the hose, and blasted his little butt with it. At the time, I'm sure my mother was irate and horribly embarrassed. Like me, though, she has learned to laugh about the crazy situations she found herself in. I prefer listening to this story from her perspective, but I think you get the idea. My brother is no longer pooping in grocery stores (at least not on the floor), but maybe someday he will have a little one with the same tendencies. I can't wait.
Doc and I have actually been tweeking with the idea of going on a date. I know. Totally weird. Not the idea of doing something romantic. It's the idea that we actually might have the guts to dump our offspring on some unsuspecting person. This has always been a hard decision for us to make. I mean, we do watch the news and let's face it, we're paranoid. That's probably why we haven't been on a real date that didn't include scarfing down our food as fast as we can and running back home to see if it's still standing and no one is bleeding. Just the other day, I asked Doc, "So, are we going out for Chinese tonight?" I was crossing my fingers mentally, chewing on my lip. I so wanted to be irresponsible. We haven't been on a date in forever and I was craving Chinese like crazy. I suggested that our 13-year-old son get a chance to hold down the fort for a couple hours. I even turned on my sexy voice and said, "We'll have our cell phone with ...
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