I have never been able to think quickly. Not even when I was a fresh-faced kindergartner soaking everything up with my brain. It usually takes me a while to think about things especially when I have to think about finding something. I was the kind of child that had to be taught how to look for something I lost. I remember my dad sitting me down and telling me to go look back in my mind and think about the places where I had been. So, whenever I need to remember where I put something, I literally sit down and think about where I've been. My husband, on the other hand, is a very quick thinker. He probably thought it was odd the first time he was introduced to my way of finding things. We are both absent-minded and misplace things all the time. When we were first married, he would come to me asking where something is. I would stop what I was doing, sit down, and seem to go into a trance. He would stand there looking at me with a dumbfounded look on his face and say, "Uh, hello?" He probably thought I was ignoring his question and would be very impatient until I finally looked at him with an answer. As years went by, not being able to think about anything with him standing there impatiently, I would guess an object's location and thereby send him on wild goose chases. The wild goose chases became more frenzied over the years and I realized that strategy was not working either. Eventually, I got older and became more adept at communicating with my husband. Now, when he asks me where something is, I patiently (or impatiently in some cases) look at him and say, "I need to think about this for a minute." He then understands that he needs to give me some space for a minute or two to go into my trance. As I pull out the missing computer paper, the missing glasses, the white socks, the keys, the checkbook, etc., I whisper thanks to my dad who taught me this strategy of finding lost things. Unless Happy hides it. Then we're doomed.
Doc and I have actually been tweeking with the idea of going on a date. I know. Totally weird. Not the idea of doing something romantic. It's the idea that we actually might have the guts to dump our offspring on some unsuspecting person. This has always been a hard decision for us to make. I mean, we do watch the news and let's face it, we're paranoid. That's probably why we haven't been on a real date that didn't include scarfing down our food as fast as we can and running back home to see if it's still standing and no one is bleeding. Just the other day, I asked Doc, "So, are we going out for Chinese tonight?" I was crossing my fingers mentally, chewing on my lip. I so wanted to be irresponsible. We haven't been on a date in forever and I was craving Chinese like crazy. I suggested that our 13-year-old son get a chance to hold down the fort for a couple hours. I even turned on my sexy voice and said, "We'll have our cell phone with ...