When I was in high school, I finally found my backbone and stood up for myself. I was a little old for that, but better late than never, right?
I always hated confrontations of any kind. I ran from them like a little coward. I was a people pleaser and hated it when things were not "right with the world".
There was a girl around my age who went to my church and we also attended high school together. I considered her my best friend although she was hardly a good friend to me at times. Maybe she was under a lot of pressure to be "cool", but she repeatedly bullied me and threatened to beat me to a pulp although she never did throw a punch.
One day, I had had enough. She had given me another one of her threats about taking me to the parking lot outside and bashing me to the ground when I turned around, looked her in the eye, and said, "I've had enough of you. I'm done. I'm not scared of you anymore and I want you to leave me alone." I had no intention of putting up my dukes to prove my point, but when she saw the stony determination in my face, she backed down. That was the end of our friendship, but it was a relief for me that was years in coming. It took me a while, but I will always remember that situation as a turning point in my backbone's life.
Yesterday, I was helping Sleepy put his shirt on for our sojourn outside. I turned him around and noticed small, fading bruises on his back. I gasped. "Sleepy!" I exclaimed. "You have bruises all over your back! Who is hurting you, sweetie? Is it one of your brothers who are being too rough with you when you guys play together?" He informed me that no, it wasn't one of his brothers. It was the neighbor boy. My son told me how the neighbor boy will punch him and be mean to him whenever he gets mad at Sleepy for some reason.
I felt rage churning in my gut for that little four-year-old boy who looks two years older than he really is. I turned Sleepy around and took his little face in my hands. Looking into his eyes, I said, "Don't you ever let anyone hurt you, Sleepy," I said softly. "You stand up for yourself!" I could still see the uncertainty in his eyes. I knew exactly what he was feeling. If he stood up for himself, what would happen? Would that boy still be his friend which he so desperately wanted?
I let Sleepy go play and turned to his older brother, Grumpy. I gave him an order. "Don't you ever let anyone hurt your little brother. Ever," I said stonily. I looked him hard in the eyes and I could see he understood.
Sleepy may be older before he has an epiphany. Like me, it may take years for him to find the courage to stand up for himself. In the meantime, though, the boys will learn family loyalty. There's five of them, for Pete's sake. I think if they all stood together, they would be formidable. No matter how old they are.
I always hated confrontations of any kind. I ran from them like a little coward. I was a people pleaser and hated it when things were not "right with the world".
There was a girl around my age who went to my church and we also attended high school together. I considered her my best friend although she was hardly a good friend to me at times. Maybe she was under a lot of pressure to be "cool", but she repeatedly bullied me and threatened to beat me to a pulp although she never did throw a punch.
One day, I had had enough. She had given me another one of her threats about taking me to the parking lot outside and bashing me to the ground when I turned around, looked her in the eye, and said, "I've had enough of you. I'm done. I'm not scared of you anymore and I want you to leave me alone." I had no intention of putting up my dukes to prove my point, but when she saw the stony determination in my face, she backed down. That was the end of our friendship, but it was a relief for me that was years in coming. It took me a while, but I will always remember that situation as a turning point in my backbone's life.
Yesterday, I was helping Sleepy put his shirt on for our sojourn outside. I turned him around and noticed small, fading bruises on his back. I gasped. "Sleepy!" I exclaimed. "You have bruises all over your back! Who is hurting you, sweetie? Is it one of your brothers who are being too rough with you when you guys play together?" He informed me that no, it wasn't one of his brothers. It was the neighbor boy. My son told me how the neighbor boy will punch him and be mean to him whenever he gets mad at Sleepy for some reason.
I felt rage churning in my gut for that little four-year-old boy who looks two years older than he really is. I turned Sleepy around and took his little face in my hands. Looking into his eyes, I said, "Don't you ever let anyone hurt you, Sleepy," I said softly. "You stand up for yourself!" I could still see the uncertainty in his eyes. I knew exactly what he was feeling. If he stood up for himself, what would happen? Would that boy still be his friend which he so desperately wanted?
I let Sleepy go play and turned to his older brother, Grumpy. I gave him an order. "Don't you ever let anyone hurt your little brother. Ever," I said stonily. I looked him hard in the eyes and I could see he understood.
Sleepy may be older before he has an epiphany. Like me, it may take years for him to find the courage to stand up for himself. In the meantime, though, the boys will learn family loyalty. There's five of them, for Pete's sake. I think if they all stood together, they would be formidable. No matter how old they are.
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