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My Own Mr. Knightley

I know. I'm so typical, but I can't help it. Jane Austen is my favorite author. What a surprise. The thing is...I can't decide which of her works is my favorite. I just love them all. Emma struck a cord within me, though. When I read it the first time a few years ago, I had a hard time getting through the beginning. I will now confess to something that would be considered blasphemy by those diehard Austen fans.....I didn't like Emma, the character. I realize now that I certainly needed to broaden my horizons, but at the time I was still a little stupid, so I just didn't get it. I was the kind of reader who believed that the main character should have no glaring faults. The kind of character that you agree with all the time and root for from beginning to end. How boring is that? I was determined to wade through the muddy waters to finally see that in the end Emma becomes the character I wanted to see from the beginning. I didn't realize that a good character needs to grow. I then found out something that confused me and made me think harder about this character. Emma was Jane Austen's favorite character. How could this be? Emma was a manipulative, prideful, and arrogant woman. How in the world could she be her favorite? A few years later, I read the book again and watched the movie with Gwyneth Paltrow. Since I had more experience with less than wonderful characters in other books, I began to see a connection between myself and the less than perfect Emma. I also began seeing a connection between Emma and Mr. Knightley. Without Mr. Knightley, would Emma have seen what she was doing and stopped herself in time? I'm not sure. He was a guiding hand and not always a gentle one. Emma needed to be shaken out of her own world. I didn't understand how they could come together in the end after so many arguments and it seemed to me that Mr. Knightley didn't like Emma and could not respect her ways. I then realized that indeed he had to have loved her greatly in order to help her understand that what she was doing was wrong indeed. He also knew she was capable of being a good woman and knew she had redeeming qualities. I realized how alike Emma and I are and if she can redeem herself in the end, then maybe there is hope for me with my own Mr. Knightley to guide me.

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