Rugrats and Dirty Rugs

He sat in the wrong seat. I couldn't stop the giggles when my son put on his little cap and sash for graduation. I was one of those moms with the proud look on my face and the "he's so cute" phrases holding my trusty camera and taking picture after picture. Nauseating, I know. Still. Those freckles and big, blue eyes outlined with long lashes were nothing but adorable and I couldn't help myself. He walked into the room to the graduation song piped out from a stereo in the corner. He was one of the shortest kids although he didn't seem to notice this little fact. When he got to the stage, he decided to break his place in line and go for any chair that he could find. Now, most moms would realize that this would pose a problem considering that most ceremonies of this nature alphabetize the children's names. I was too busy smiling, waving, and clicking the camera to pay attention. Therefore, they called someone else's name and there was Sleepy sitting...

When I was in high school, I finally found my backbone and stood up for myself. I was a little old for that, but better late than never, right? I always hated confrontations of any kind. I ran from them like a little coward. I was a people pleaser and hated it when things were not "right with the world". There was a girl around my age who went to my church and we also attended high school together. I considered her my best friend although she was hardly a good friend to me at times. Maybe she was under a lot of pressure to be "cool", but she repeatedly bullied me and threatened to beat me to a pulp although she never did throw a punch. One day, I had had enough. She had given me another one of her threats about taking me to the parking lot outside and bashing me to the ground when I turned around, looked her in the eye, and said, "I've had enough of you. I'm done. I'm not scared of you anymore and I want you to leave me alone." I had n...

There is a boy in our neighborhood who has discovered that there are five boys living in the house across the street from him. Since then, there has been no end to the ringing of the doorbell. That is, if the door is locked. If the door happens to be unlocked, much to my dismay he will walk right into our house without even knocking first. The child is only four, and yet I have come to the point where I am on pins and needles. Just two days after playing with the lost boys, he joined us for dinner twice. To this day, I'm not quite sure he had permission. At least, I can say that we taught him that he should pray for his food before he gobbles it up. At one point, he started digging in before we could pray. I said, "Wait! Wait! We have to pray first!" He said, "Huh?" in confusion. I said, "We have to thank God for providing this food for us." He scrunched up his face and exclaimed, "You mean Jesus?" Bashful asked sarcastically, "What! You...

How many times have I prayed..... Dear God, Please protect my children and keep them safe. Dear God, Give my children wisdom and help them make good decisions. Dear God, Help me teach my children to know You and Your Word. Dear God, Keep us together. Don't let my children die. Please don't take them from me. I wouldn't be able to survive it. Dear God, Please don't let my children become homosexuals. Give them good, Christian women whom they will love. Dear God, Keep my children close to You, so that if it is Your will that they leave this Earth, they will be with You in Heaven. To know that my children will be with You is a peaceful balm for my soul. So many people have prayed these prayers. People who love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and strength. People who pray and read their Bibles every day. People who worship Him with fellow believers on Sunday mornings. People who endeavour to know God more. Yet, they still lose their children in some form or fashion. Ch...

I have a love-hate relationship with my dog. Yes. I said "my dog". Today, I am feeling benevolent towards the creature because she hasn't caused too much trouble lately, but only by the skin of her teeth. When she does something bad she is "Doc's dog" or "that stupid dog". I remember the day we got her. Doc took us way out into the country to the German Shepherd Rescue Foundation which happened to be someone's house and a fenced-in area for the neglected dogs. Grumpy was about 18 months old and I remember him teetering around in the yard while we looked at the dogs. There was a humongous male and a small female and Doc was interested in the female, of course, because he's "so straight he can't even pet a male animal" he once told me. She was small for a German shepherd and I liked the look of her "black saddle". She was already full-grown at nine months old. I did not want to be there. I did not want a dog. ...

It was Sleepy's turn to go out to breakfast with Doc last Saturday. When they got home, Doc asked with exasperation, "Why is it our children always have to fart in public?" He said that when they were waiting for the hostess to seat them, he got a whiff and had to move away. "Ha," I said. With my voice riddled with sarcasm, I said, "That's nothing. This morning, I was giving the boys a bath. I turned on the water and as they jumped into the tub, Sleepy announced, 'I have to go poop!' So, he gets on the toilet and proceeds to stink up the bathroom. I yelled, 'Sleepy!' but since there was really nothing I could do about it, I had to endure the stench while lathering up Happy's hair. Two seconds later, Sleepy jumps off and says, 'All done!' I looked into the toilet and there was nothing there. The kid had stunk up the bathroom by farting." A couple days later, the boy was on his knees coloring a picture when he put...