Skip to main content

Fairy Tale Crow

I can tell that I'm getting old because recently I've been relying on coffee to give me that added boost.

Growing up, I watched all the adults in my life gulp the nasty stuff down as if their lives depended on it. I often thought, "Why in the world would someone drink something that tastes like liquid cardboard?"

Well, I've discovered the chemistry of doctoring up the vileness. If you put enough creamer and sugar in it, voila! Liquid dessert.

I've become desperate enough to try it. I realize it's not the end of the world. After all, it's just coffee. It's not like it's a definite sign of old age.

Gray hair is, though.

I have long hair down to the middle of my back. Doc has even called me Rapunzel. I've grown it this long because it's camouflage. People have to look closely to guess my age.

Or maybe I'm just fooling myself.

I'm not going to dwell on that too much.

Anyway, I discovered something about myself that doesn't really boost my morale.

I went on a recent camping trip with my parents in their darling home on wheels. Their bathroom has a skylight and standing in front of their mirror with the light shining down was very revealing.

That little bathroom wasn't so darling anymore.

With my mouth falling to the floor, I lifted up layers of hair to find strands of gray that had been laying in wait for me to discover.

My mother has assured me that I have a few years left before I have to absolutely do something about the gray. She had to assure me this in a very calm voice because her daughter was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

I kept imagining myself looking like those long-haired crows in the children's fairy tales. You know, the ones that like to put children in a big, boiling cauldron and eat them. The gray-haired ones that have that cackling laugh as they stir with a big, wooden spoon while their long hair keeps getting into the liquid.

When I start growing a beard, I'll tell Doc to send me to the circus.

He just might.

Comments

Deborah said…
I can't believe you have even survived all this time, with five kids without coffee, you are miraculous!

P.s. You are not old, you are gorgeous! :)

Popular posts from this blog

The Top 20 Clean Romance Movies Of All Time

I'm really picky when it comes to romantic movies. I prefer them clean and it's really hard to find those kind of romance movies these days. Nowadays, romantic movies are chock full of butts, boobs, and beds. Just sayin'. I was bored one day and decided to google the top romance movies of all time. You have got to be kidding me. One list had Brokeback Mountain on it. Pulease. I was, in fact, so disgusted by all of the lists that I came across that I decided to make my own. I decided to call it The Top 16 Clean Romance Movies of All Time, well, because I couldn't think of anymore to make it an even top 20. Now, my list might be different from most people. I said I was picky. First, I don't like b***** women. That scratches out a whole pile of popular movies. One of them being Gone With The Wind. Does anyone besides me want to smack that woman? Second, I don't like it when the couple end up in bed together. Uh, I don't really need to know, thankyouverymuch. Th...

Pregnant vs. Just Plain Fat

Saturday, I had the opportunity to go to a Pampered Chef party at a friend's house. I was feeling particularly bubbly that day and it must have showed. As everyone tells me to say hi to my boys for them, the consultant asks, "How many boys do you have?" I said, "Four," and she asked, "And one on the way?" I gave her a blank stare. How in the world did she guess? I am only about a month along. As everyone congratulates me, I am still in shock. I hadn't planned on anyone knowing for at least two more months. As I'm driving home, I realize that it could have gone badly. What if I hadn't been pregnant? That led to more thinking and here's how it went: Those of you who don't even start showing until your fourth month- I hate you. Those of you who don't get the kind of morning sickness that lasts all day every day for four months- I hate you. Those of you who don't go through a nightmare of pain without medication during labor- I ...

Homecoming Queen

I was sitting in a McDonald's sipping on my drink surrounded by teenagers. I was in my early 20s, so I wasn't at the point yet where teenagers drove me insane. My husband and I had been appointed to babysit the youth group during that time in our lives, and it struck me as funny since they were the same age as my youngest brother. They were good kids and liked to have a fun time as teenagers always do. As I'm sipping on my drink talking with them, one of them looks at me and says, "You were popular in high school, weren't you?" I almost spewed Sprite on the girl. "What gave you that impression?" I exclaimed. "You just seem like you were popular," she said. I stared off into space and shuddered as I remembered the horrific days of public high school. I was the one who took my diploma and waved good-bye to high school forever never to return. If I could have gone through it all with a magic invisibility cloak like Harry Potter, I definitely w...